You may try to use "alcohol" as an excuse, however, this man did not force himself on you. He did, perhaps, attempt to coerce you but that is not forcing. Drunk or not, you willingly gave him oral sex.
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My best friend tells me to keep this a secret because if he found out it would ruin any potential future we have. -- Your friend is wrong. What you will be doing is building a future built on sand . . . the guilt will come out in ways you don't even realize and will erode the relationship over time.
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Accepting ownership for one's actions and accepting the consequences for them is the beginning of the road to learning from those mistakes and feeling that pain should prevent you from ever doing something like that again.
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I have tried many times to tell my bf but I can never come out with. He tells me how much he loves me everyday, He tells me how special and beautiful I am everyday.... it breaks my heart. My best friend has told me that I am need to keep this to myself... telling him would only devastate him and will ruin two lives.. I am very torn. She makes sense but the guilt is killing me.
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So for now I think I will live with this shame and secret. I want to tell him but I just can't bring myself to break his heart. He wants to marry me someday and have kids and telling him will ruin that for him. If anybody can suggest a way to tell him I'm open to hearing it. Honestly, is rather tell him but it's just So hard and I'm so conflicted. Anyways pile on the hate.. im used to it and no one really understands Anyways.
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I am only disappointed in the fact that you use a lot of "Him" statements about how you are going to ruin your boyfriend's life if you tell him, while in fact you don;t seem to understand that ship already sailed and you are just adding extra fees on your hide when the bill comes due, which eventually it will.
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